I have nine children and eight grands (so far). The oldest three children I birthed, the younger two I became step-mother to, and the other four I gained via marriages. I love them ALL dearly! Married twice; divorced twice; I’m in my 60’s, single (again) and living (currently) in a 16′ Jayco. I have been in an apartment a couple of times since I bought it for brief periods, but somehow I always end up back in the Jayco. I don’t expect to be in it permanently, but for now… I put my faith in Jesus (my pilot) and keep on keeping on, going through whatever doors are opened.

“Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might.” — Eccl. 9:10

I was married at 16, had three children by my 21st birthday and five children, a divorce, a new husband, living in a different state and back in school by the time I was 35. It’s a long sorted story so I say lets let those past seasons lay dead where they are and if you have an interest in my personal testimony I am happy to share it with you privately. Please feel free to email me. This is the short version:

I was married for most of my adult life; 14 years the first time and 20 years the second. After my second divorce, I was devastated! I cried for 4 months solid (just ask my neighbor, and my sisters, and my kids) hardly able to eek out a prayer, nothing other than “Oh God please help me” until one day, laying in the floor in front of the fireplace, crying, I heard the voice of my Lord and He said, “Get up, I’ve got this.” I did just that and have been moving forward every since. Oh trust me it was not easy (still isn’t), it was agonizingly painful and horrifyingly tough, seemingly impossible, and devastatingly lonely, and most days utterly overwhelming. And no, the crying did not stop. I cried constantly and prayed more – I just did it on the go.

I ask the Lord for two things: “Please do not let me get bitter over this” and “Please do not let this pain be wasted.” He answered the first prayer immediately. I have no bitterness or anger in my heart toward my ex-husband (either of them) and I pray for him daily (both of them). The answer to the second request I believe I will not know until I reach the throne (maybe this blog will become part of that) for me personally the pain has not been wasted at all; it thrust me into the arms of God and into a personal relationship with my Jesus that I never knew I could have. I remember early on after my divorce, precious women of God would say to me, “God is your husband” (Isaiah 54:5) and my heart would wrench – NO! I want my husband to be my husband! That was 10 years ago, and now YES, graciously God has become my husband. And shall remain so unless/until… He sends me another. Actually, I marked in my Bible at that same passage the month and year I came to that acceptance. It was a huge milestone in my spiritual walk. The notation reads: “now we are here 3/2023.” So, it took 7 years for me.

Please, if you are divorced or widowed and grieving your loss, or grieving any other great loss in your life, give yourself time and do not let anyone tell you what is normal and not normal, you’ll find your own – with Jesus.

I went back to school, I moved around a lot, bought a truck and a Jayco TT, I’ve traveled, been on Mission trips, worked and volunteered for a ton of amazing groups and companies. I’ve met so many wonderful people I need a new phone to hold all their contacts. Some have become, I believe, life long friendships, and some were just for a season, yet I continually pray for them all. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, or even the rest of today, but I know I am following Him wherever He goes.

This is who I am today, not because of my past, but because of my Jesus: A Christ Follower, Lover of Jesus, Daughter of the Faith, a servant of the Lord’s, and most of all Blessed beyond measure.

“Fear not, for you will not be ashamed; be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced; for you will forget the shame of your youth, and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more. For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called. For the Lord has called you like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit, like a wife of youth when she is cast off, says your God. For a brief moment I deserted you, but with great compassion I will gather you. In overflowing anger for a moment I hid my face from you, but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,” says the Lord, your Redeemer.

– Isaiah 54:4-8

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