Sometimes, I believe, He just wants me to know He is listening – that He indeed hears me. No lessons, no directions, no great spiritual revelation – just a simple, unpredictable, unexplainable manipulation of circumstances to say – “Daughter, I see you; I hear you; I know your heart.”

100 roses and a mop bucket. Ha, the name just jump out at me while I was cutting the stems. It was catchy and I knew somehow it was going to be a story.

I was 3 weeks out from my total knee replacement and couldn’t climb to where my daughter-n-law had said there were vases, so I looked around and the only thing I could find in the house big enough to hold them all was a mop bucket. I filled it with water and started placing the sweet smelling buds into it, trying to arrange them but there were so many there wasn’t much to do but just stand them up and let them fall as they would. And then it came to me…

A vague rememberance of walking into a grocery store in the evening, just a few weeks prior and being bombarded with flower arrangements all stacked throughout the entrance. They must have been preparing for Mother’s Day. I love fresh flowers. I said to myself, but kind of to the Lord too, “Oh look at those beautiful flowers, I wish I had a special someone to buy me flowers like that” and immediately the remorse and sorrow hit, I cried out silently “Oh my Jesus, I am so sorry, I didn’t mean that. That sounded ungrateful! That sounded like you are not enough for me, but you are! I love my relationship with you, I am so sorry I didn’t mean that! You are my special person.” And trust me, I meant it. I felt the hurt immediately. I had grieved The Spirit. I love my Jesus so very much and He is enough, but sometimes… the human heart grows faint and weary for another human heart. We think things like that will bring us joy – they don’t. They may supply a moment of happiness, but it is fleeting. That kind of feeling can be stollen away in a moment and without any replacement from the thief leaving us feeling even more alone. I am learning. The love I experience from my Jesus is faithful and true – even without flowers.  

The memory grew stronger in my mind now, and I began to realize what had just happened. I love the way He does things. And I have no doubt that the moment I apologized to Him, the order for those 100 white roses was placed. Or knowing Him, it was already in place. It was all planned out so meticulously, the day of delivery, the place of delivery, and the fact that I was there on that day, in that place, alone. Even the hearts of the ones He would use – just a seemingly set of incidentals – all planned to perfection. Roses ordered for a graduate in Ohio, through an account in Tennessee that were delivered to… yep, Tennessee. I tried to take them to a church or something, but the one that purchased them said, no, they are for you. They weren’t ordered for me – at least not originally – but they were sent straight from His hand to mine and all to say, “I see you; I hear you; I know your heart.” How do you not fall more in love when He shows up like that!

“I LOVE the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.” — Psalm 116:1-2